Chaos to Clarity

‘A 17 year old girl has proven to the world that she is a woman, what about you?’ Some anger mixed with pain boiled on her inside but her instincts asked her to smile. The smile that introduced every word she spoke. She was not expecting Pastor Tade to say such words to her. She knew he was going to talk about Mama Rhoda’s new baby and the fact that she hadn’t gotten pregnant but not to compare her to a 17 year old teen who got pregnant out of wedlock. Smiling, she gave him a stare that meant she had no response to the question he asked but he continued.

‘I want to ask you a question, Temi,’ he moved from the study chair to the bed where she laid and asked, ‘what’s your plan? I mean, when do you intend giving me children?’ Another silly question. There was anger in his eyes but Temilade ignored it. She had taken too much already today and she was going to speak up this time.

‘That’s a question for God not me, my love!’ She sat up. ‘Are you now Rachael who was asking Jacob…’ But the Bishop was too angry to allow her pitch her little sermon.

‘Don’t tell me that!’ he wailed. ‘You use the word of God as cover up every time!’ he continued. ‘I just want to know when you intend giving me children. Is it when I turn 40, Temilade?’ His voice began to shake. Temilade could hear tears somewhere in his angry tone. She wanted to hold him. Tell him that everything was going to be alright but the words that followed killed her even more. ‘Oh God! How did I end up with this woman?’ He continued to mutter some words that she could not hear. ‘Great mistake oo!’ he hit his left fist so hard on his right hand and stormed out of the bedroom, banging the door behind him.

Tears, tears and more tears ran down Temilade’s heart. The tears dreaded her face. She had no words nor questions for God or herself. The pain was too much to stomach. ‘Reverend Ebuka…’ She reached out for her phone to call Rev. Ebuka, praying that Mama ‘Can Do’ does not pick the call. Just as she dialed the number the second time, Pastor Tade came into the room again. He asked for her audience. He said he had an important message for her. He told her he was going to have children before he was 40 even if it meant he had to get it from some other woman. He told her he was tired of having faith over what he wasn’t going to get from her. He thought he had pitched a very strong point to shut her up. You would think that Temilade would keep quiet but she didn’t. Usually, she’d just nurse her pain; afraid of making a mess in her marriage and relationship that she would always play the fool for peace to reign. Today however, she was ready to make more mess to get all the junk out once and for all. He didn’t see what was coming.

‘I have been to the hospital time and again for different tests and they were all good. You should go check yourself too,’ she said in anger. Pastor Tade turned around and gave a sarcastic look and laughed. He had wanted her to speak up so he could pour out all his resentments and regrets and this looked like the opportunity. She was looking at her phone; Rev Ebuka was calling her. She wanted Pastor Tade to pour it all out so she ignored the call immediately before it rang out.

‘If you think I have a problem, Temi, go and ask my ex girlfriends or better still, allow me to sleep with another woman or should I say a woman…’ he ended still giving her the same look. She was shocked but she wanted more mess.

‘Why should I ask your girlfriends? Does this mean that you have a child, Tade?’ her heart rate increased. What she dreaded the most was coming to pass. She walked up to him. He could see the fear in her eyes. ‘My love, you never told me you had a child…’ He didn’t allow her finish.

‘Please do not touch me!’ He scolded and moved away from her. ‘So that you don’t say I didn’t warn you,’ he continued pointing to himself. ‘I, Derick Tantoluwa Oyetade, would have children soon and you would hear of them!’ he paused taking off his turquoise stripped shirt and Roman Collarette.

‘So what happens to me?’ she asked. Then, it dawned on her that she had no future in his eyes.

‘Your mouth is still sharp, abi?’ he asked laughing out loud. ‘You better look for ways of keeping yourself in my life. You have no child and you can still talk? Your mates are carrying children while you are carrying bags, shameless woman!’ He walked into the bathroom still talking in his local dialect while Temilade stood in wonder. Soon, he opened the door and stepped out again.

‘I know you are not serious, my love,’ she said as he walked to the other side of the room and picked up his phone.

‘Continue deceiving yourself. Thank God you know my family. In fact, you have done the analysis yourself that we don’t have anyone married in our family but me. You on the other hand, everybody in your family is married. I would make sure you break the record, shameless thing…’ a call from his phone interrupted the conversation. It was Mama Can Do, Rev. Ebuka’s wife. He picked the call and placed it on speaker.

They heard this; ‘Bishop, where you dey?’ It was Rev. Ebuka’s voice.

‘I dey house, Revo!’ Pastor Tade responded.

Temilade looked at her phone only to realize that she had taken the call in a bid to ignore it. Rev. Ebuka heard their conversation. All of it. She was in trouble. Pastor Tade would say she set him up. This is the end!…

To be continued…

Chaos to Clarity

Chaos is the first step to clarity!

‘Before you can organize the closet of your life, you need to see what is there. This would mean pulling it all out and letting it get messy so you can see what should stay and what must go and what missing pieces you need to find.’ Valorie Burton

Recently, I opened my doors to two, lovely teenage girls. I have lived alone for two years and so the thought of having people in my house for the week sounded like fun. That week, I noticed one of the girls didn’t have the right clothes for a dance performance that I had staged and I thought of how to help. She was a size 6 and I used to wear a size 6 and then a size 8 for some dresses so I knew I could find something she could use. I once had a size 6 pant somewhere so I decided to search for it. I searched and searched carefully, trying not to make a mess of my closet, but I couldn’t find it. Finally, I decided to just bring everything out and down.

In a short while, I spotted the pant. I also found a long lost hair ribbon of mine, an unused Ghanaian Kente that I thought was missing, a dress I hadn’t worn in years that I loved so much and some letters; those ones that bring good memories. I sat down to read through the letters. Some of them brought tears to my eyes and others had rib-cracking contents that made me laugh hard.

As I stood up to put back everything together, I realized how much mess I had created. When I was done organizing the closet, I was excited. Everything was well arranged. It hadn’t looked that good since I moved house. Things were just where I wanted them to be; at close reach. I knew just where everything was at a glance and I had my choice clothes closer than they used to. What a relief! Now, I could allow anyone into my closet without worry. The teen girls were also excited; they had new clothes as I saw a good number of clothes I couldn’t keep. I also figured out one more category; what to add, I knew exactly what I didn’t have.

Whenever you start taking steps forward, it often gets messy. I encourage you, don’t be afraid of the mess. Remember, the first step to clarity is chaos. Allow some mess today, get clarity!

Love,

Jace